Marriage is a sacred union ordained by God, a beautiful tapestry woven with love, respect, commitment, and mutual support. It is a journey that requires effort, patience, and a deep connection with both your spouse and God. I write this letter to encourage you, to uplift you, and to remind you of the power and beauty within you to make your marriage flourish and flow in unceasing bliss and peace.

THE FOUNDATION OF LOVE
Love is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. In this context, love refers to agape love, which transcends all other forms of love. As Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” This profound description and definition of love remind us of its true essence. To experience real love in life and marriage, you must intentionally cooperate with God in matters of love.

In practical terms, this means showing your husband kindness and patience even in challenging times. It means forgiving and letting go of past hurts. It means protecting your marriage by fostering trust and hope. Salvation brings forgiveness, so learn the science, art, and acts of forgiveness and other virtues necessary to make your marriage work. Recently, I read about a 39-year-old woman on Facebook, crying and desperately seeking a husband. Do not let anything contrary to God’s glory happen in your marriage.

RESPECT AND HONOUR
Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Respect is a powerful expression of love. It involves valuing your husband’s opinions, acknowledging his efforts, and speaking to him with kindness and consideration. It is an aberration to show respect to others while being disrespectful to your own husband. Your submission to your husband through divine presence is key to winning his heart and indirectly influencing him.

COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Effective communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Speak to your husband with gentleness, even when discussing difficult topics. Listen actively and empathetically, seeking to understand his perspective without jumping to conclusions or judgments. Communication predates humanity. Learn to communicate effectively with your husband. Know when to speak and when to keep quiet. Sometimes, your strength is expressed and exhibited in quietness. Do everything possible to make communication a priority in your home. My wife and I have a personal WhatsApp group where we communicate privately, aside from our family group with our children. Remember, it’s one life; enjoy it to the fullest with your husband.

NURTURING INTIMACY
Intimacy is more than physical closeness; it is about emotional and spiritual connection. Song of Solomon 8:7 says, “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.” Cultivate intimacy by spending quality time together, sharing your dreams, fears, and joys. Pray together, read the Bible together, and support each other’s spiritual growth. Time is faster than the fastest man on earth, yet it can feel slow. Create time for personal moments together:whether it’s a trip to the beach, a prayer walk, or simply relaxing together. Avoid being too preoccupied with social media and phones. Enjoy meaningful time with your husband to foster a strong bond. Each moment counts, so make it count with meaningful activities in your home. Remember, Satan has no home unless you allow him into yours.

COMMITMENT AND SACRIFICE
Marriage is a covenant, a promise to stand by each other through thick and thin. Romans 12:10 urges us to “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” This devotion often requires sacrifice, putting your spouse’s needs before your own, and making compromises for the greater good of your relationship. Your commitment to your marriage and your husband significantly influences the peace and joy you experience in your home.

GRACE AND FORGIVENESS
No marriage is without its trials and mistakes. Colossians 3:13 advises, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Holding onto grudges only poisons your relationship. Embrace forgiveness and extend grace, remembering that you, too, are a recipient of God’s unending grace. Every marriage faces challenges, and in forgiveness lies your daily strength and healing.

BUILDING A SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT
Create a home environment that fosters love and respect. Proverbs 14:1 states, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.” Build your home with wisdom, creating a sanctuary where your husband feels valued, loved, and respected. Read that verse repeatedly and be intentional about it. Build your home; do not tear it down with anything contrary.

EMBRACING YOUR ROLE
Proverbs 31:10-31 paints a picture of a virtuous woman, highlighting her strength, wisdom, and industriousness. Embrace your role in your marriage with joy and diligence, knowing that your efforts are valuable and deeply appreciated. You are a helpmate to your husband. Help him make informed decisions, overcome life’s challenges, and be a good giver. In doing so, you not only help him but also ensure your marriage works rightly.

PRAYING TOGETHER
Prayer is a powerful tool in marriage. Matthew 18:19 says, “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Pray with and for your husband, seeking God’s guidance, strength, and blessing for your marriage. Once married, your best and closest prayer partner is your husband. If he is weak in prayers, help him. If he loves to sleep, assist him in waking up for prayers.

SEEKING HELP WHEN NEEDED
There is no shame in seeking help when your marriage faces challenges. Proverbs 11:14 advises, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.” Seek godly counsel from trusted friends, mentors, or professional counselors who can provide guidance and support. One destructive seed the devil has sown into families is the notion that “Do not let a third party know what is going on in your home.” Speak out, but to the right person. We once attended to a family on the brink of collapse; thank God the woman spoke out. Your pastor may help, your deacon may help, your trusted spiritual friends may help, your parents may help, and above all, speak out to God.

CONCLUSION
Dear sisters, your marriage is a precious gift from God. It is a partnership designed to reflect Christ’s love for the Church. Embrace this journey with a heart full of love, respect, and faith. Be patient, be kind, and be committed to building a marriage that glorifies God and brings joy to both you and your husband.

May God bless you and your marriage abundantly, filling your hearts with His love and grace.

In Christ’s love,

DejiRemi Joseph

Is there anything we missed out? What is your addition to the above? Leave comments and let’s hear your views. Watch out for the same for husbands soon.